On following traditions as being the right thing to do

Following traditions can be fulfilling, giving one a sense of belonging, etc. But I think no one should do so just because “it’s the right thing to do”.

If you think of it, a tradition in and of itself was originally created by an individual, or most often a group there of, by departing from what their own ancestors did, which is what we celebrate in the end. In other words, someone choosing to break away from their own might be closer to the tradition’s own creators’ mindset than those blindly following them.

Of course, traditions also often endure because they were the better thing to do and remained so for a certain length. They’re in no way valueless, and should be considered by design. But one has to keep in mind that times change, and traditions are meant to do the same along with it.

My wife is no longer here, but my sister is home

Wedding ring worn on right hand.

This photo is not mirrored. I am indeed now wearing my wedding ring on my right hand.

My wife and I can be accused of a lot of things. But to have ever done anything conventionally is not one of them.
Be it as individuals, or as a couple.

I met Lizanne in 1994, at 19 (she was 23); and it was love at first sight.
Well… There was… Something. Something I’d never felt before. And have never felt with anyone else since.

So we called it love, called ourselves a couple, and went along with it. I mean – we couldn’t get enough of each other – what else could it be? What else could two only-children, who grew up with little surrounding family, moving up to a continent at a time, multiple times, picture or understand this as?

We went on, through life’s ups and downs, as families do. In insight, we’ve actually had very few hard moments. Maybe 4, 5 over the years. Once every 4 to 5 years, at worst, really. Furthermore, those can mostly be attributed to outside/exceptional circumstances, such as postpartum, or tense professional times. But what those hard times never did is divide us.

After a few years together, a family-per-se we became, with our first (yet now taller than both of us) child, Teagan, in 1999. Then, gamer-extraordinaire, Keane in 2002. And finally, the best-once-2-year-old-hockey-goalie-you’ll-ever-meet, Kyran in 2006. They truly are our greatest accomplishment as husband and wife. We love them, unconditionally. Time shall tell – they’ll tell us themselves, one day – but I’m more than pretty confident that we’ve done a good job raising them, and providing them with all the love we can give, so far. And always will.

It’s been 20 years now; 15 married (but only so we could do something special with my family in France back then, and the usual administrative reasons). And with time, Lizanne and I have realized something crucial: that what we have is in fact stronger than what conventional marriage can offer. What we are to each other could only be accurately described as a brother and sister of sort. Against all odds. Something that no one, even ourselves, can ever take away from us. We will love and protect each other for all our days, as a family does, and should.

But… in truth, brothers and sisters don’t really want to share a bedroom. Doing so kinda really feels creepy… And we don’t want that tension between us any more.

Families dissolve over such things. We don’t understand that. We don’t even want to understand that. Why would one break apart a lifetime of achievements as a family together, and make everybody suffer, over not wanting each other *that way*?

We’ve lived under the same roof, as siblings, all those years. And we’ve now decided to make that status official. But we want to remain being our very own  family, as strong as ever, and probably even happier as it has ever been. And happy, we definitely know how to do!

So there it is. We might eventually choose to have our own domiciles, but for now, we’re going to go at life as we’ve done so far, one day at a time, and see where it takes us all. All knowing how we truly feel about each other. And both content and at peace with it. Once again, against all odds.

I couldn’t be happier. And I love my sister. Even more than I did my wife. :)

Update: We happened to own a fully furnished apartment across the street from our home, which just happened to be currently empty, so I’ve moved in, as it allowed us to not have to build a new bedroom in our current house, yet still allowing me to see and be with my kids every day (required, with Lizanne being a flight attendant). Best of both worlds, simply boils down to our family using more real-estate on our street. ;)

Baby Boomers, Mankind’s Cancer

After having lived 40 years as one of their offspring, the only conclusion I can draw by now is that, as opposed to the generation before, which was labeled the Greatest Generation, Baby Boomers officially made it as the worst generation so far.

Let me get this straight. It was the 60s, and Baby Boomers were in their very late teens, or started their adulthood. But they weren’t really into this whole working for a living thing, didn’t want to do what their parents did, found society greedy and selfish. Basically unfair.

So they proceeded to turn said society on its head, from the political/social values and financial standpoints, at the very least. Well… Really what most of them did was bitch and complain until society changed for them, while the previous generation was still in control/power.

Mind you, most of the talking points sounded great at the time: we should help one another (especially financially, when they needed it), we’re a whole, not decoupled individuals. War is bad (when they risked having to go), and so on. And they still do sound great, from the perspective of someone like I, who was raised to believe and taught just that all of my life.

But what it really translated to is that they whined until they got exactly what was best for themselves. And they sure proceeded to use and abuse it all over the next 4 decades, as national and individual debt levels show.

So, we’re now 40-50 years or so later, and now that same generation is in power (politically and financially). They got all the subsidies they could have potentially wished for for all that time, mainly just to shut them up. They even made up some new ones as they went because it suited them, etc.

But now they no longer have kids at home. They don’t really need social and financial support, because they’re out of the woods, about to or already retired. So let’s just go ahead and cut all of those services they so enjoyed, so the next generations don’t get the support, since they’d now have to pay for that. “Let’s now all vote Conservative. You know, to preserve and bring back those old ways we fought so hard to get rid of when we were young!”

Well, when I say cut, it’s not entirely true. They’re not looking to cut any of the old age pensions and such yet. Why would they? They need that now. What they suggest is that we should keep paying for them, until they’re done, and then just stop. But be stuck with their debt.

Also, while they’re at it, why not get into war mongering mode, since they’re way past the potential draft age range. Who cares? Right? War builds character in young men (if they survive it). They know, they went to war too! Oh, wait, no, they dodged those too… Never mind…

I’m 40 now, and what I’m facing downward is generations that are looking at this whole thing and, with the great benefit of insight 20-20 my generation didn’t get because it happened while we had nothing to say about it, go and tell my generation: “you got screwed dudes, but we’re not gonna”. And you know what? I get them. But, my generation is going to pay for the previous one, and the next ones are telling us they won’t pay for us.

In conclusion:

  • Baby Boomers have been the most selfish, self-centered, hypocritical generation to walk this Earth (so far)
  • My generation is going to get it both up the ass, and in the mouth.
  • And with our track record, we’re just going to let them…

Thanks guys. I’m so glad, and so very proud, to be one of your sons…
Oh, and a loud, resounding FUCK YOU ALL!