My wife and I can be accused of a lot of things. But to have ever done anything conventionally is not one of them.
Be it as individuals, or as a couple.
I met Lizanne in 1994, at 19 (she was 23); and it was love at first sight.
Well… There was… Something. Something I’d never felt before. And have never felt with anyone else since.
So we called it love, called ourselves a couple, and went along with it. I mean – we couldn’t get enough of each other – what else could it be? What else could two only-children, who grew up with little surrounding family, moving up to a continent at a time, multiple times, picture or understand this as?
We went on, through life’s ups and downs, as families do. In insight, we’ve actually had very few hard moments. Maybe 4, 5 over the years. Once every 4 to 5 years, at worst, really. Furthermore, those can mostly be attributed to outside/exceptional circumstances, such as postpartum, or tense professional times. But what those hard times never did is divide us.
After a few years together, a family-per-se we became, with our first (yet now taller than both of us) child, Teagan, in 1999. Then, gamer-extraordinaire, Keane in 2002. And finally, the best-once-2-year-old-hockey-goalie-you’ll-ever-meet, Kyran in 2006. They truly are our greatest accomplishment as husband and wife. We love them, unconditionally. Time shall tell – they’ll tell us themselves, one day – but I’m more than pretty confident that we’ve done a good job raising them, and providing them with all the love we can give, so far. And always will.
It’s been 20 years now; 15 married (but only so we could do something special with my family in France back then, and the usual administrative reasons). And with time, Lizanne and I have realized something crucial: that what we have is in fact stronger than what conventional marriage can offer. What we are to each other could only be accurately described as a brother and sister of sort. Against all odds. Something that no one, even ourselves, can ever take away from us. We will love and protect each other for all our days, as a family does, and should.
But… in truth, brothers and sisters don’t really want to share a bedroom. Doing so kinda really feels creepy… And we don’t want that tension between us any more.
Families dissolve over such things. We don’t understand that. We don’t even want to understand that. Why would one break apart a lifetime of achievements as a family together, and make everybody suffer, over not wanting each other *that way*?
We’ve lived under the same roof, as siblings, all those years. And we’ve now decided to make that status official. But we want to remain being our very own family, as strong as ever, and probably even happier as it has ever been. And happy, we definitely know how to do!
So there it is. We might eventually choose to have our own domiciles, but for now, we’re going to go at life as we’ve done so far, one day at a time, and see where it takes us all. All knowing how we truly feel about each other. And both content and at peace with it. Once again, against all odds.
I couldn’t be happier. And I love my sister. Even more than I did my wife. :)
Update: We happened to own a fully furnished apartment across the street from our home, which just happened to be currently empty, so I’ve moved in, as it allowed us to not have to build a new bedroom in our current house, yet still allowing me to see and be with my kids every day (required, with Lizanne being a flight attendant). Best of both worlds, simply boils down to our family using more real-estate on our street. ;)
As seen in my backyard. Spring is here, snow or not.
It’s interesting the difference a couple of days makes, when one doesn’t give up.
On Friday, after my last post, Andy @ Automattic ping’d me on Skype and offered me to take the rest of the day off (and more if needed) to just recoup from the last 2.5 months. And no, not in a “go away until you can be productive, we’ll dock your pay for it” way, but truly in the “feel better dude” way. Anyone still wondering why I love working with that crew? :)
I did get some rest, but not before using that oh-so-important business week day to resolve most of the lingering issues that were stressing me out so much.
Got in touch with my insurance company and:
- made sure they handled the car promptly (it can take up to 5 business days for an evaluator to even see the vehicle…)
- made sure they provided me with the replacement vehicle I was entitled to. That worked out wonderfully since I’m now driving a very cool semi-automatic AWD Subaru XV (with paddle gear shift at the wheel).
So that’s mostly taken care of.
At the same time, [another] Andy (to whom I’m lending the cabin for a month) took it upon himself to acquire and install a 6″x6″, 6′ in-concrete post for our dish to be installed on Saturday. He surprised me with it, and it made an incredible difference in my day. That burden suddenly lifted, I could move on to the next step.
That same day, the 4th electrician we had contacted did make it, and installed the 220v dryer outlet we needed to make the cabin a real home. Impossible to dry clothes outdoors in the weather we’re having, and just plain inconvenient to dry them indoors (though that was setup in the meantime). On a side note, that same contractor ended up with his van stuck in the ditch across the street from the cabin, and what got him out and on his way was Andy using the winch on my incapacitated Land Rover. Even down, that truck is a trooper, I tell ya. :)
On Saturday, I made my way up there, to make sure the satellite dish and related internet connection install went smoothly. It did, and we now have a 5MB down / 1MB up connection Andy, and later myself, can now work with for our actual daily jobs. He and family are now set (albeit with an average 700ms latency), and I’ll be able to move to the cabin in the summer and work full-time from there.
So now, all that is left is having some plumbing done so we can stack the dryer and washing machine (scheduled for Monday), and for the insurance company to decide what options they propose in regards to my car, which should happen during the week.
And then I napped. And then I slept in. And now I’m back to my former, happy-go-lucky self. It. Feels. Grrrrreat! :)