My wife is no longer here, but my sister is home

Wedding ring worn on right hand.

This photo is not mirrored. I am indeed now wearing my wedding ring on my right hand.

My wife and I can be accused of a lot of things. But to have ever done anything conventionally is not one of them.
Be it as individuals, or as a couple.

I met Lizanne in 1994, at 19 (she was 23); and it was love at first sight.
Well… There was… Something. Something I’d never felt before. And have never felt with anyone else since.

So we called it love, called ourselves a couple, and went along with it. I mean – we couldn’t get enough of each other – what else could it be? What else could two only-children, who grew up with little surrounding family, moving up to a continent at a time, multiple times, picture or understand this as?

We went on, through life’s ups and downs, as families do. In insight, we’ve actually had very few hard moments. Maybe 4, 5 over the years. Once every 4 to 5 years, at worst, really. Furthermore, those can mostly be attributed to outside/exceptional circumstances, such as postpartum, or tense professional times. But what those hard times never did is divide us.

After a few years together, a family-per-se we became, with our first (yet now taller than both of us) child, Teagan, in 1999. Then, gamer-extraordinaire, Keane in 2002. And finally, the best-once-2-year-old-hockey-goalie-you’ll-ever-meet, Kyran in 2006. They truly are our greatest accomplishment as husband and wife. We love them, unconditionally. Time shall tell – they’ll tell us themselves, one day – but I’m more than pretty confident that we’ve done a good job raising them, and providing them with all the love we can give, so far. And always will.

It’s been 20 years now; 15 married (but only so we could do something special with my family in France back then, and the usual administrative reasons). And with time, Lizanne and I have realized something crucial: that what we have is in fact stronger than what conventional marriage can offer. What we are to each other could only be accurately described as a brother and sister of sort. Against all odds. Something that no one, even ourselves, can ever take away from us. We will love and protect each other for all our days, as a family does, and should.

But… in truth, brothers and sisters don’t really want to share a bedroom. Doing so kinda really feels creepy… And we don’t want that tension between us any more.

Families dissolve over such things. We don’t understand that. We don’t even want to understand that. Why would one break apart a lifetime of achievements as a family together, and make everybody suffer, over not wanting each other *that way*?

We’ve lived under the same roof, as siblings, all those years. And we’ve now decided to make that status official. But we want to remain being our very own  family, as strong as ever, and probably even happier as it has ever been. And happy, we definitely know how to do!

So there it is. We might eventually choose to have our own domiciles, but for now, we’re going to go at life as we’ve done so far, one day at a time, and see where it takes us all. All knowing how we truly feel about each other. And both content and at peace with it. Once again, against all odds.

I couldn’t be happier. And I love my sister. Even more than I did my wife. :)

Update: We happened to own a fully furnished apartment across the street from our home, which just happened to be currently empty, so I’ve moved in, as it allowed us to not have to build a new bedroom in our current house, yet still allowing me to see and be with my kids every day (required, with Lizanne being a flight attendant). Best of both worlds, simply boils down to our family using more real-estate on our street. ;)

7 thoughts on “My wife is no longer here, but my sister is home

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